Between giving birth in the most hilarious way, sloppily making out with Kate McKinnon and putting on the most inappropriate pre-teen version Rent, Amy Schumer did a lot funny heavy lifting on Saturday Night Live May 13. Some the weightiest yuks never even made it to air, though. One the finished skits that got cut for time is “Spirituality Rap,” a Kyle Mooney/Beck Bennett bit in which Bennett plays super-horny rapper Stav D.
The premise is pretty basic; an unfortunately-coiffed Stav performs his Slavic Jams Records single “Song for the Angels” in a church alongside dreadlocked hype man MC Strategy (Mooney). Along with shouts to Dr. Dre, Wu-Tang Clan, Pharrell and Michael Jordan, Stav repeatedly sends love to favorite pastime: masturbation. With musical guest Kacey Musgraves singing the spiritual hook, an angelic Schumer busts into Stav's plea for world peace to deliver some harsh reality, “You have a serious masturbation problem.”
Unable to hear her coded speech, Stav pleads for the angel to speak more clearly, which she could not possibly do.