As Pride Month comes to a close, people from around the world are reflecting on the progress we’ve made toward equality for LGBTQ people, and the steps we still need to take in order to fully realize that goal. But there are still a few people out there wondering why there isn’t a “Straight Pride Month” for heterosexual people to celebrate.
Lucky for them, comedians Julio Torres and Patti Harrison have some options for potential floats in a nonexistent straight pride parade. Appearing on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, the two comedians addressed the audience with some new, hilarious ideas on how straight people can celebrate.
“We don’t know straight culture that well, and we wanted to bounce some ideas f you first,” Harrison told Fallon, before Torres retorted by saying, “No fense, but you’re the straightest guy we know.”
The ideas started out innocently poking fun at straight people, with ideas like “a salute to polo shirts one size too big” and “a dinner party where the women fer to clear the table, the men stay seated, and no one is disturbed” being displayed over a gray, monochromatic rainbow.
Eventually, the jokes became increasingly more specific and strange. “Maybe a couple having sex in the dark,” Torres said, before fering up a fun fact about heterosexual sex: “Did you know that straight people turn f the lights when they’re having sex? And the woman actually keeps her bra on.”